The Refuge

6th - 12th Grade

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Church By The Sea Student Ministries

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The Refuge on

Wednesdays from 6:00 to 8:00 PM

Middle School & High School


Ignite on Sundays from

9:30 to 10:30 AM

Middle School Only


Engage on Mondays

from 6:30 to 8:00 PM

High School Only



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students who serve = swerve

There’s lots of ways to help out.

Sign up for the area you want to use your gifts below.


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Dear Parents or Students,

Here are a few resources which can help with some of the hot-button issues facing teens today.

These organizations are NOT affiliated with Church By The Sea and do not all share our faith or theology.

Rather … if we were talking and you asked me a question about an issue, these are the folks I would lean on to get you more info for the practical side of each issue.

They are mere resources and I hope they are helpful.

With the Love of Christ,


Youth/Associate Pastor



To Write Love On Her Arms

The second leading cause of death among young people 15 to 24 is suicide.

And like most of the issues that follow, the solution begins with talking, and removing stigma.

TWLOHA is the premiere Christian founded mental health organization.

Here they offer writings on awareness and a free Find Help tool which helps find both Christian/Non-Christian Counselors, Psychiatrists, and Licensed Mental Health Counselors.


Fight The New Drug

If you’re a Parent:

It’s important parents know that most likely your child will be exposed to pornography at some point in their life. Maybe you have a hunch about this, but you don’t want to believe it.

But here’s some important things should know:

  1. Exposure doesn’t equal sin

  2. Exposure doesn’t equal addiction

The myth is if we discuss this with our kids, then they’ll know about it, and they’ll look for it.

But when I went through fire safety training as a kid, I recognized matches when I saw them and I didn’t touch them because I knew I could burn the house down. A prior talk prevented harm.

But if I hadn’t known I probably would have seen a thing I’ve seen in ‘Tom and Jerry’ Cartoons … a prop for making entertaining fires, or I would have burned myself and been afraid to tell my parents for fear of getting in trouble.

The research is out … by having this conversation with your kids early:

“When/if you see these images, come talk with us. We want to know. We won’t be mad. We want to protect you.”

They are 10x less likely to develop a porn habit or addiction.

Here are two resources,

Fight The New Drug: A Lobby Against the Harmful Effects of Pornography


Fortify: A Program for Overcoming Porn Addiction

We do have financial assistance possibilities if your child requires premium services and/or coaching which cost a little money.

If you’re a Student:

It’s the sad reality. Most kids use porn. In fact it’s an estimated %70. And even people outside the church know that is behavior is becoming increasingly harmful and addictive, and can cause the same issues related with long- term narcotic use.

If you want out and want to join a recovery program you can join the Fortify training for free.

There are premium features which are available for free for kids under 17 with application.



Seventy percent of teens go out of their way to hide their online activity from their parents.

This link gives you online monitoring options, but the best defense is talking. Talking all the time.

Most kids who exhibit inappropriate online behavior don’t want to, but they feel they have no one they can talk to or ask for help to hold them accountable.

Our kids need to know they can discuss EVERYthing with us parents … even if it’s uncomfortable.

The bottom link is to a phone that provides maps, talk, text, and music and that’s it.

I recommend kids have this phone until they are on their own and can pay for their own phone and phone plan. As they get older explain what’s great about smart phones and what’s not so great, and why you chose to spare them the power of having a smart phone until they are adults.